oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
