ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
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