I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
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