Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
