im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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