Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
