Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
