Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
I checked into jail on foursquare
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
Randomize