but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Randomize
