Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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