My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
