My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
