Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
her vagine was all disorganized.
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Randomize
