I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
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