He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Randomize
