You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
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