All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
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