His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
