i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
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