Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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