Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Randomize
