Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Randomize
