Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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