I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize
