She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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