dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
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