i want to swaddle you in tequila
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
that is very illegal...i love you.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
