Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Randomize
