okay pat passed out under dana's car
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
