"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
