Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
