Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Randomize
