take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Randomize
