whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
