she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize
