i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
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