he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
Randomize
