the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
