Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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