the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Randomize
