I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
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