I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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