i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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