I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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