She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
I just gift wrapped bread.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Randomize
