I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
