You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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