Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
