But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Randomize
