i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
