Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Im part way to drunk.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
