Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
Randomize