apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
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