actually, I'm a sock model
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
The best revenge is premature balding
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Randomize
