just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Randomize