You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I'm way too hungover for life right now
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
