I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
