I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
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