i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Randomize
