who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Randomize
