so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
