Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
My liver is preforming stress tests.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize
